The Strange Experience

When did this all happen? I seem to loose control of my own life, my own self.
Maybe if I just did things in reverse, it would have been easier.

It started when I was transferred to another school when I was still in my last year in high school. I studied in a strange school, met strange people and somehow tried to fit in. I've lived with strange yet kind people and lived in a strange house which had welcomed me in its care.

I was able to cope up with things but I don't remember any sort of effort done just to make me feel like I belong to that strange world. All I did was just do my stuff. work in the morning then study in the evening; answer questions and participate in class then I got excited in doing an actual original play. I wrote our play! I just hope I haven't lose the manuscript yet. When asked about dreams and careers, I always say,” Be a successful person one day and help my family." But if asked about my careers, specifically, I just can't seem to decide.

When I was still in preschool I dreamt of becoming a nurse, then in the preceding years many things have been hovering inside my head. Things about what I would be, I could be, and other stuff.

When I reach college, that's when I realize that I have to be serious. I've always been serious but this time it's for real. Instead of me choosing, I let my mother do the honor.

I don't know what to think that time. I think that's where these all started. I was overwhelmed with the crowd, a strange crowd again. Amazed by the towering building I'm in, I felt excited and wondered about what will happen to me there.

But during those strange incidents, I was able to cope up yet I still question, how?
I still can't believe everything.

Only one thing's for sure, I love what I chose to do and I'll will continue on doing it. I love the course of track I'm into and I will continue on pacing until I reach the peak. I'll be what I'll be.

Things may not look so bright but that's the way it should be. Besides, I have no idea how to brighten them up. But if I'll have a hint someday, I'll brighten things up. There area a lot to do with only time at hand. I'll find a way. I will.

....Just My Thoughts on Something.....

How would a person view life? Is it like a mathematical formula in a calculus book or a scientific formula in a chemical book?

What would our diseased heroes say about it?
What would our great scientists tell us about it?
What do parents always tell their children?

Life is not as simple as it seems. We humans know how it feels like to live life. It's cruel, there's doom, sadness, and everything to the negative level.

Living life will be like walking barefooted on a rocky road. It's like climbing on the steepest mountain ever existed. Everything in life is all mixed up and missed up. But there's a big BUT.

Just like magnets, life has poles ,too - the negative and the negative poles. It only mean one thing; in every negative there's always positive. In every wrong there is right.

We cannot say if one is WRONG if the RIGHT one does not exist. Just like our body. It will be hard for us to breath with only one nose hole, or lung. IT will be hard for us to walk if we lack a leg.

Everything is a part of the balance. If only a portion of it is lacking, it will alter the balance. We should maintain that balance. Without that balance our existence will be endangered and all other life forms here on earth.

We humans, as superiors in all life forms here on earth, must be the first to protect that balance. Everything in stake not just OURS. We must not be selfish. Viewing things positively can help a lot. Though we can't stop the negative things from happening, we can still counteract their effects by taking them positively.

We've always been asking opinions from professionals; doctors, chemists, psychologists and many others. We've been very earthly. We've always been thirsty of such knowledge. But still we can never unfold the mystery of life.

Why don't we ask some opinions to the ONE who have seen all sides of life, the ONE who keeps all secrets, the ONE who created us?

Maybe HE can help us know the very facts of life?

Losing A Job...........

I don't know how to react I think I just lost a job yesterday. I've been waiting for the notice for about 2 weeks time but when I knew it, i was too late.
When I heard the news yesterday from my aunt who just got home from work, I was silent. I don't know what to think. All that I could say was, "Ha..."

I didn't cry or lock my self in a room or stay in a corner and cry or weep. I got to admit I feel regrets but as the old saying says,"Regrets comes last in everything!". It's the fact that I can't change nor anyone else.

If my mother knows about this, she would go mad. Losing this jiob is alright with me but to her it isn't. Maybe this job is not mine. If I told her this way she will piss me off.

She will be angry. That's how I knew her back then but things change. Maybe she wasn't like that today, who knows.

I've got to have a job. I've got ot.

It's not anyone's fault, whatever happens, we're just victims of circumstances. God has a different but beautiful plan to each one of us.